Well september 23 has finally arrived! It's the day we had been looking forward to since our first doctors visit and sonogram when we found out Maddex was on his way! Now it has become the day we've anticipated to be one of the hardest on us. As we exist here on earth this September 23, with our dream and hope of Maddex physically gone after holding him for only hours months ago, we have great hope and inspiration to live a life worthy of being reunited with him in Heaven one blessed day. ... Meanwhile, it is incredibly difficult not to think what we would be doing with him at this exact moment in time, how much different our lives would be, and all the "might have beens". Please continue praying for our strength and comfort as your loving prayers will mean more than any of us know in the next few days. ... I've begun to realize that it's not why did this happen, or how did we get here, but how we respond and what we do for God as we endure this challenge.
Maddex, mommy and daddy love you more than you'll ever know!
SpRiNg TiMe
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
September is a month of joy, and sadness. First of all, September happens to be the month that we lost my brother Tanner, 12 years ago on the 2nd. We miss you, love you, and will always remember you.
... But, this month also brings about football season, cooler weather, and getting closer to the holidays. We thought that it would be bringing us a baby, but as we sit here without him, it gets a little harder as we see friends and family member having their precious blessings, who were going to be just weeks and days apart from our Maddex. You'd think the beginning would be the hardest part; leaving the hospital without him, and knowing we weren't ever going to get to play with him, change his diapers, or stay up all night with him. But at that point, Michael had decided to become a christian, and that's what we focused on because Maddex helped to make that happen. But now, it's starting to seem that the hard part begins when everyone else is getting to enjoy those things with their September babies, as we have no physical sign left of ours. We are so, so thankful and happy for all of those babies and for all of those blessed mommy's and daddy's, but it's also hard to wonder why we aren't there too. We know, without a doubt, that we are blessed by God putting Maddex in our lives and he has changed us forever, we just really start to feel like we're missing out on all the beautiful amazing moments that we see in others' lives. We have our own precious memories with our son, that lots of people don't get to experience and we cherish those. We just trust, hope, and pray that God will soon bless us again with more children that we get to raise, teach, and grow old with here on Earth. September 23 was Mdx's due date, so with that coming up and and this being a tough month, prayers for our strength & hope, mine especially, are welcomed.
Thanks so much for your support, and give your babies, no matter how big or small, old or young, a special hug and kiss from their mommy/daddy, because there are some mommies and daddies who would love to do the same.
... But, this month also brings about football season, cooler weather, and getting closer to the holidays. We thought that it would be bringing us a baby, but as we sit here without him, it gets a little harder as we see friends and family member having their precious blessings, who were going to be just weeks and days apart from our Maddex. You'd think the beginning would be the hardest part; leaving the hospital without him, and knowing we weren't ever going to get to play with him, change his diapers, or stay up all night with him. But at that point, Michael had decided to become a christian, and that's what we focused on because Maddex helped to make that happen. But now, it's starting to seem that the hard part begins when everyone else is getting to enjoy those things with their September babies, as we have no physical sign left of ours. We are so, so thankful and happy for all of those babies and for all of those blessed mommy's and daddy's, but it's also hard to wonder why we aren't there too. We know, without a doubt, that we are blessed by God putting Maddex in our lives and he has changed us forever, we just really start to feel like we're missing out on all the beautiful amazing moments that we see in others' lives. We have our own precious memories with our son, that lots of people don't get to experience and we cherish those. We just trust, hope, and pray that God will soon bless us again with more children that we get to raise, teach, and grow old with here on Earth. September 23 was Mdx's due date, so with that coming up and and this being a tough month, prayers for our strength & hope, mine especially, are welcomed.
Thanks so much for your support, and give your babies, no matter how big or small, old or young, a special hug and kiss from their mommy/daddy, because there are some mommies and daddies who would love to do the same.
Monday, August 22, 2011
First day of Coaching/Teaching in Mason!
As most of you know, Michael and I both have new jobs where we are learning right along with the kids. Our teaching assignments are a little different than they were at Wall, but they are also great opportunities for us both to try something new and different! I had some GT planning and 8th grade technology today, while Michael got to try and tame some Pre-Kers in PE! :) He had several other grades too, but the Pre-K was the highlight, or challenge!
Being a coach's wife instead of being a coach myself, at least until the spring when I help with track, is different. It's good and I am not as busy, but I do miss athletics and being in and out of the gym and going outside to run. Now I spend lots of time just waiting around on Michael to be done. -Which is okay, because he loves what he's doing, and I'm all for that! ... Just seems strange because this time last year, I was telling Michael how I just couldn't wait to have kids so I would have some babies to keep me company & busy during football season while he was gone so much. We found out we were expecting Maddex and I was so excited that was coming true this year. I would be about to have Maddex, and then taking him to games to watch daddy coach. -Crazy how life changes! So, even though I've ironically found myself sitting at home alone again this year while the hubby's at football, I also have found the simple truth that we WERE BLESSED with a baby and I AM a mommy, and that has to serve as a comfort. I would love to have Maddex here to take to games, play with, or even change his dirty diapers, but God had another plan for us and we will just believe that plan will take us wherever God wills! -Plus, we know Maddex will be watching daddy every Friday night until we get to see him again! (& that's LOTS of football for him to learn about, & critique!) :)
Being a coach's wife instead of being a coach myself, at least until the spring when I help with track, is different. It's good and I am not as busy, but I do miss athletics and being in and out of the gym and going outside to run. Now I spend lots of time just waiting around on Michael to be done. -Which is okay, because he loves what he's doing, and I'm all for that! ... Just seems strange because this time last year, I was telling Michael how I just couldn't wait to have kids so I would have some babies to keep me company & busy during football season while he was gone so much. We found out we were expecting Maddex and I was so excited that was coming true this year. I would be about to have Maddex, and then taking him to games to watch daddy coach. -Crazy how life changes! So, even though I've ironically found myself sitting at home alone again this year while the hubby's at football, I also have found the simple truth that we WERE BLESSED with a baby and I AM a mommy, and that has to serve as a comfort. I would love to have Maddex here to take to games, play with, or even change his dirty diapers, but God had another plan for us and we will just believe that plan will take us wherever God wills! -Plus, we know Maddex will be watching daddy every Friday night until we get to see him again! (& that's LOTS of football for him to learn about, & critique!) :)
Monday, August 15, 2011
Maddex's 2 months in Heaven
Maddex, Mommy & Daddy love you so much and you'll always be our sweet baby boy!
Mdx, you blessed and forever changed both of our lives on this date, 2 months ago and we are so thankful for you. You've taught us how to truly love, to be closer to God, and to have great hope for our futures and holding you again in Heaven one day.
Words cannot express how blessed, thankful, and honored we are to have such supportive family members and friends surrounding us. THANK YOU ALL! God has put all of you amazing people in our lives for times like this; you've supported us, comforted us, and encouraged us and that's just what God does for each of us as well. ... We couldn't ask for more than that!
Mdx, you blessed and forever changed both of our lives on this date, 2 months ago and we are so thankful for you. You've taught us how to truly love, to be closer to God, and to have great hope for our futures and holding you again in Heaven one day.
Words cannot express how blessed, thankful, and honored we are to have such supportive family members and friends surrounding us. THANK YOU ALL! God has put all of you amazing people in our lives for times like this; you've supported us, comforted us, and encouraged us and that's just what God does for each of us as well. ... We couldn't ask for more than that!
Saturday, August 6, 2011
"Stronger"
There is an incredibly beautiful and inspirational song by Mandisa that I feel has carried us through the past few months and would love to share with you. Sometimes, you hear a song and it seems like it's just describing your life's story at that point and time. -That's what this song has done for me. If you haven't heard it, I definitely recommend everyone checking it out on KLOVE, other Christian stations, or just looking up the lyrics.
... " When the waves are taking you under, hold on just a little bit longer, He knows that this is gonna make you stronger; the pain ain't gonna last forever, and things can only get better, believe me this is gonna make you stronger! " ...
This song and I seem to have a history, and so I think of Maddex every time I hear it, and it encourages me. The hospital where I see my doctor is amazing; they always have a christian station playing while you wait to be seen. This particular day, was June 14, 2011. As Michael and I sat there waiting, it seemed to take forever for the doctor to come in that day. "Stronger" by Mandisa came on the radio and as I listened to the words, I kept thinking: "God, why is this song playing right now? Why it telling me that this is going to make me stronger? Is this supposed to be preparing us for something?" ... I was feeling a little uneasy about it all, but I didn't want to let Michael see that so I just listened and waited. Moments later, when our doctor came in to get Maddex's heartbeat, we found out that there was no longer one, and he had already gone to Heaven to be with his maker. I really do believe that God used this song to prepare me for the unexpected and to let me know it was going to be okay, and I should just trust in Him. Now, every time I hear it, I think of that excruciating time in our lives, but I also think about how God was already taking care of us and Maddex, and about His promise that this too will make us stronger.
Oddly enough, about 2 weeks later my good friend Sarah sent me a text about a song that reminded her of our family and what we were going through; she wanted me to check it out because she knew it would be an encouragement to us. ... Guess what? -Same song! ... I told her the story of God using that song in our lives, and it's so cool that she was sharing it with us in the same way.
It's just a reminder that as tough as things may get in our lives, whether it be loss, work, health issues, relationships, or whatever else we may struggle with, God knows that this is going to make us stronger.
I feel so blessed that we all share this same hope in Him!
... " When the waves are taking you under, hold on just a little bit longer, He knows that this is gonna make you stronger; the pain ain't gonna last forever, and things can only get better, believe me this is gonna make you stronger! " ...
This song and I seem to have a history, and so I think of Maddex every time I hear it, and it encourages me. The hospital where I see my doctor is amazing; they always have a christian station playing while you wait to be seen. This particular day, was June 14, 2011. As Michael and I sat there waiting, it seemed to take forever for the doctor to come in that day. "Stronger" by Mandisa came on the radio and as I listened to the words, I kept thinking: "God, why is this song playing right now? Why it telling me that this is going to make me stronger? Is this supposed to be preparing us for something?" ... I was feeling a little uneasy about it all, but I didn't want to let Michael see that so I just listened and waited. Moments later, when our doctor came in to get Maddex's heartbeat, we found out that there was no longer one, and he had already gone to Heaven to be with his maker. I really do believe that God used this song to prepare me for the unexpected and to let me know it was going to be okay, and I should just trust in Him. Now, every time I hear it, I think of that excruciating time in our lives, but I also think about how God was already taking care of us and Maddex, and about His promise that this too will make us stronger.
Oddly enough, about 2 weeks later my good friend Sarah sent me a text about a song that reminded her of our family and what we were going through; she wanted me to check it out because she knew it would be an encouragement to us. ... Guess what? -Same song! ... I told her the story of God using that song in our lives, and it's so cool that she was sharing it with us in the same way.
It's just a reminder that as tough as things may get in our lives, whether it be loss, work, health issues, relationships, or whatever else we may struggle with, God knows that this is going to make us stronger.
I feel so blessed that we all share this same hope in Him!
Sunday, July 17, 2011
New Beginnings
God really does work in mysterious ways! ...
We've learned more and more about that in many different areas of our lives in the past 5 weeks. As most of you know, we were happily coaching & teaching in Wall, Tx. If you don't know much about that place, or have never heard of it, it's amazing!!! We were both given the opportunity to work, learn, and grow there right after graduating from college and I couldn't imagine a better place to start our careers. We've made many great, life-long friends in our time there, as well as growing to love our students & athletes that we were blessed to coach and teach. The community welcomed us into their 'family' from the moment we came in, and we could never express how much we love them and how much they mean to us.
But, as much as we did love Wall, and always will, we were given job opportunities back around our hometowns in Mason, Tx. We weren't expecting to go anywhere, and definitely weren't looking to leave, but we feel that God has opened a door for us. We had a chance to move back home to our families, and that is what really means the most to us right now with losing our sweet baby Maddex. As much as we've have been supported by everyone, it's always encouraging & strengthening to be around your family. So, we've have made that incredibly hard decision, but we are looking forward to being in Mason with Michael coaching and me taking a 'coaching break' and just teaching. We'll be so much closer and will have the chance to watch our little cousins play sports, be close to family, ride horses, and take pictures (for me). So instead of finding us in the middle of the cotton fields, you can now look for us in the Texas hill country!
We pray that God will bless our decision and our 'new beginning'.
We've learned more and more about that in many different areas of our lives in the past 5 weeks. As most of you know, we were happily coaching & teaching in Wall, Tx. If you don't know much about that place, or have never heard of it, it's amazing!!! We were both given the opportunity to work, learn, and grow there right after graduating from college and I couldn't imagine a better place to start our careers. We've made many great, life-long friends in our time there, as well as growing to love our students & athletes that we were blessed to coach and teach. The community welcomed us into their 'family' from the moment we came in, and we could never express how much we love them and how much they mean to us.
But, as much as we did love Wall, and always will, we were given job opportunities back around our hometowns in Mason, Tx. We weren't expecting to go anywhere, and definitely weren't looking to leave, but we feel that God has opened a door for us. We had a chance to move back home to our families, and that is what really means the most to us right now with losing our sweet baby Maddex. As much as we've have been supported by everyone, it's always encouraging & strengthening to be around your family. So, we've have made that incredibly hard decision, but we are looking forward to being in Mason with Michael coaching and me taking a 'coaching break' and just teaching. We'll be so much closer and will have the chance to watch our little cousins play sports, be close to family, ride horses, and take pictures (for me). So instead of finding us in the middle of the cotton fields, you can now look for us in the Texas hill country!
We pray that God will bless our decision and our 'new beginning'.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
1 Month!
1 month ago today, we were blessed to give birth to our perfect little angel Maddex. WOW, how our lives have & continue to change since then. It seems strange to think of it as his 'birthday' because those are usually celebrations of life, and Maddex didn't have that here on Earth, but it is the 'birth' of his welcoming into Heaven, and of Michael and I becoming parents. It's a sad day, but also an amazing day, because we are parents to a perfect son, a perfect child, a perfect gift from God and we know that will help us to be even stronger, more appreciative parents when we have more children here on Earth.
Baby Maddex, we love you and miss you more than you can imagine, but you are always & forever in our hearts! Thank you for teaching us so much about faith, hope, & love in such a short amount of time!
Baby Maddex, we love you and miss you more than you can imagine, but you are always & forever in our hearts! Thank you for teaching us so much about faith, hope, & love in such a short amount of time!
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